I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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