Ketchup is God's man juice
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Randomize
