Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Randomize
