don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
