i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
