did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
