Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
