I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
