we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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