he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
