She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Randomize
