she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
