laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
he was CRYING into my vagina
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
