You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Randomize
