Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
