I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Randomize
