i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
