you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
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