Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Randomize
