Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Randomize
