Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
