girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
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