Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Randomize
