I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
