I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
