dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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