hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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