If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I'm determined to sit on that face.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
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