Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
