he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Everclear isn't food dammit
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Randomize
