I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
