Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I just had sex on a roof
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
