What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Randomize
