porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
