I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
