Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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