i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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