you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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