You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
