I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
