Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
