mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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