Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
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