yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
