Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize
