is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
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