when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Someone came in the potted fern
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Your penis caused this!
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Randomize
