Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
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