So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
