Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
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