he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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