woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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